Shut The Fuck Up, Donny

Bowling is a strange sport. I rolled a turkey and finished at 140 the first time around, then couldn’t break 100 the next two games. A turkey is when you get three strikes in a row. I would never have known that either until recently. They had the White Sox losing on the big screens at the end of the lanes, and then when that ended they put the Cubs losing on. They’re still playing?

Today was the day the world was supposed to end but instead we got flowers and parades. I was hugging that young teen golfer Michelle Wie in a dream I had, and that was certainly weird, I don’t know anything about her or even follow golf, but there she was in my dream. It was like we were in high school and in love. I know, not normal at all. I have no excuses.

I would have preferred the tennis girls, Kournikova or Sharapova. Not that I follow tennis either.