Booze Cab Reject

It’s too early for The Booze Cabinet to give out endorsements (I can’t get anyone in the office to even watch a debate) but this little tidbit from today’s Sneed column (serious news) has forced us to rule out one candidate in particular. In fact, this information has so appalled the staff that from here on out he will have to be referred to as “that asshole Mormon guy:”

GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, who hit a Winnetka fund-raiser Tuesday, is not only a teetotaler . . . but he drinks decaffeinated Diet Coke.

Please! We’ve heard enough! Get. Him. Out. Of. Our. Sight!